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June 3, 2022

Fear of being yourself: Being willing to be seen (even when it’s scary)

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Have you found yourself coming up with content and thinking “this sounds lame” or “no-one will care about this”?

Have you felt the pressure to appear successful online, even when deep down inside you knew that your idea of success looked very different from what you often see on social media?  

Have you seen content and behavior online that felt wrong or harmful but you didn’t want to say anything because you were afraid of pushback?  

Or kept deleting content that genuinely expressed what was on your mind because deep down inside you are afraid or nervous that people would:  

  • Hate your content
  • That they would judge you, or just think you’re weird  

Yeah, me too.  

But your ideal clients have seen it all.  They’ve seen other coaches play it safe by creating content that is likeable, which is the easiest way to blend in.  

Because let’s be honest, sharing your values and creating content that goes against what’s popular in your industry isn’t the norm.   We tend to unintentionally hold back, and how do you know that you’re actually hiding who you are? Here are 3 signs:

1. Deep down inside, you know you’re not being fully yourself  

One of the most popular pieces of advice on social media is to ‘be yourself’.  But that isn’t really as helpful as it sounds. Because we can be ourselves and still hold back.  

I’m not saying you have to share all your secrets online with people you barely know, but if we were honest, sometimes we hold back parts of ourselves and our personality, not because we are private people, but because we are afraid of what people will think of us. And we are scared that if we were our true selves, people wouldn’t really like us.  

2. You imitate someone else’s personality, vibe or energy to be more successful  

Let’s be real. Not comparing yourself is hard. I always feel comparison coming up when I open up Instagram or Facebook Groups. I’m not here to say stop comparing yourself because if it was that simple we wouldn't do it at all.   We all have to deal with comparisons from time to time and that’s natural.

Comparison becomes a real problem when we mimic other people and lose ourselves. When we mimic someone else’s vibe or personality.   For example, when you’re an introvert and you mimic the personality of someone who’s energetic and bubbly but you’re actually down-to-earth and chilled.  

Sis, your ideal clients don’t need you to be someone you’re not, they need you to be you. And by being you, you make them feel like it’s okay to be themselves too. And that’s the power of authenticity.  

3. You’re not sure if your strengths are really strengths because society sees them as weaknesses  

Sometimes we don’t lean into our strengths because we are aware of the fact that some people see our strengths as weaknesses.  For example, growing up and being told directly or indirectly that you talk too much. When talking is actually your strength, and if you saw it that way, you could become a really great speaker.  

We might have believed our whole lives that our strength was something to hide. Or something to fix.

But my experience has been that those things that feel like a burden are actually the same things that would set you apart in the eyes of your ideal client.  

So, it’s safe to be you. I promise that there is somebody out there waiting to hear your voice. So go be you.

Did you find this helpful and would like to dive deeper? Then check out my free masterclass that empowers you to show up as yourself in your business.

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